February 7, 2013
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Miss judging
Miss judging, or a good deed at the expense of another.
What would you think if you have just a couple of items and you walk up to the express lane, that is for ten items or less and a person has a cart full of groceries?
Would you have bad thoughts about the person?
That happened to me, but I was the person with the cart full. I was in a long line waiting patently and no one was at the express lane, so the cashier motioned me over. I told her I had a lot more than ten items, but she said it didn’t matter no one was at her line. The moment the cashier started ringing up my groceries several more people showed up, with less than ten items. I doubt if any of them thought that the cashier was being nice and waved me over. Perhaps if I wouldn’t be such a large man one of them might have mentioned how it seemed I couldn’t count. As I pondered how the cashier being nice to me caused the purpose of her lane to be sacrificed, it was no longer an express lane as she checked all my groceries out.
Perhaps there were two lessons to learn from this. Judge the action not the person, and a nice deed at the expense of breaking the rules doesn’t qualify as a nice deed. If someone else is forced to sacrifice so another can do a nice deed, who is actually giving and who is actually taking? The cashier thought she was doing a nice deed for me, but the people it cost were those that came to the express lane that stood behind me.
Comments (20)
When I get behind someone like that, the only time I get frustrated is if I was really and truly in a hurry in the first place, which is seldom…….maybe you should have thanked her for waving you over before you left so they would all know that’s what had happened……..you know, for something like this to bother you, you must be a very polite individual!
@alterb4ego - That is how I do also, I try not to ever be in a hurry, to prevent impateince. I whispered to the cashier that I probably could guess what the people in line were thinking, she whispered back she would tell them she invited me to the line. LOL Thanks Crystal.
There are times when I am at the grocery store and the only checker is the fast lane. I hate to use it when I have more, but sometimes you can’t help it when that is all the checkers you have Bro. Lewis. Bro. Doc
~*Smiles*~… I can absolutely relate on both sides of the grocery debate. If a person with many items is there before me I don’t tend to “judge”, but I do find myself judging those I actually watch blanantly do it. I feel bad after I give actual thought past the emotions (which I hear gets better over time with wisdom gained). I have also been on the other end… recently at my son’s school we did something, with permission of the school, and a woman was making rude comments about how the school set certain rules in the letter that went out and how we were basically breaking them… I usually would have bitten my tongue but I feel bad now for “putting her in her place”, and speaking down to me as if I weren’t even there to hear, and how rude she was behaving… I used my nice words in doing it (intellectual, but still uncalled for on my part), nothing foul, but the bigger person would have walked away and let her look like she already did to the person that she was talkig to. (Another reason I can’t relate to the other parents there, and keep to myself, for the most part. I do the volunteering, and let kind acts speak for themselves, starting to really like the kids)
Today my youngest told me, on the way to school, “when are we going to buy a house, I don’t want to live in a department anymore”. Normally he is so smart, and doesn’t mess up in speech or reading, but these rare occasions are priceless… I guess we now live in a “department” (apartment)…
~*Giggles*~
Oh, and the rude woman making comments was just another parent… most there think they own or run the school (making many others miserable)…
@BroDoc - I agree Bro Doc, and the great thing is the Spirit has taught us so much not to break the rules that even something as simple as that convicts us. Thank you!
@Growedup - Perhaps the right thing to do is allow the other know that no rule is being broken? I probably should have spoken up and said the cashier invited me over instead of allowing them to have false judgment. Perhaps that is another lesson I should have learnt, there are times when we need to speak up and clear our selves? Thank you Bev
That happened to me as the one with a few items. I went to the self-check out and thought nothing of it.
I see both sides to…but…you know, our world is SO focused on the “express” I want it now, that a little sacrifice for each of us at times, is needed…
@eshunt@revelife - That is great it didnt bother you, many people are in a hurry and view the breaking of the rules at their expense annoying. Thank you!
@Sisterinchrst - I agree Jes, dying to self comes through sacrifice, but I think forced sacrifice would only cause self to be strengthened. Thank you! Hope you have a wonderful day.
@Lewis1122 - I might go there too… I practice avoiding it. It leaves scars inside me and they sometimes just really don’t even care (or maybe they get called over too). I’m human. I just avoid squeezing in too much in too little time — its an old guy defense mechanism.
Don’t get me wrong, Lewis — I don’t ever agree with forcing people into anything…free will is what our Lord gives us…
Last night I was in Sams club – one line was open (lite up) and the person in front of me had 2 FULL baskets…the line next to us had the light off but the girl kept saying to other people, you have a small order, I’ll take you — pointing at other people…I had a small order — under 10 items…at first, I was a little disappointed…then as she kept taking more, I was getting mad – I wanted to say “Hey! I don’t have much and I haven’t moved and inch!” but I wrangled it in and thought…maybe there’s a reason I’m stuck behind such a large order — who knows what we avoided by being patient… I don’t know, but God does…
I suppose it’s how we look at things…What will you do the next time this happens? Will you tell the cashier in the express lane “no, that’s ok…I’ll wait in the line?” or will you still go to that line? Just wondering…if it changed how you’ll do things?
@eshunt@revelife - Years ago I believe it was a Spirit inspired quote that came to me, it goes this way. “They can only get your goat if you have one” I have found the more biblical prinicples I apply to my life the more my goats are hidden. LOL
@Sisterinchrst - Thats a great question Jes!! I will tell her no thankyou, that I am in no hurry. In that way I do not allow her to cause me to look bad by breaking a rule, plus it helps kill self when you do the right things at yoru expense. That is the key to know it is for our good, such as waiting in line, in that way it is a blessing killing self and not building anger for self to feed upon.
@Lewis1122 - Me too. They get smaller as times goes on, but those goats are there none-the-less.
There is more than one time, we’ve been guided to an express lane, when we’ve had more than 20 items….It just depends on how many shoppers are ready to check out, or so it seems….
More often than not, we are in line to check out, and notice the person behind us have far less than we do…We offer to let them go through before us…We’re just not in that big of a hurry….We always look, to see if the person behind us has less than we do….We’ll say you go before us, you have far less….Sometimes they’ll say no, it’s all right, thinking we don’t mean it, but we say then, “Really it’s okay, go ahead.” They usually will…..
@ellie1945 - I agree Ellie, I do the same, if a person dont have a few items I allow them to go ahead, a great way to sacrifice self. Thank you!
people should not be judgemental people should love one another if we all loved one another the world would be a better place like michael jacksons song heal the world i believe the world would be healed if everyone loved one another gbu love bobbie
@edsgirl12 - Amen Bobbie!! That is the light that has come to earth through Jesus Christ, love for others. As we grow in our Christian walk we feel more of God’s love which allows us to show it to others.